By: Michelle Carr
“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation. Because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.” (John Wooden)
I read this and hit it home in a big way. I reminded myself that a year ago, when I started this blog, I didn’t care what people thought of me. That I was following my dream and trying to make the world a slightly better place to be in. I thought as long as I was doing what I believed in that it wouldn’t matter if everyone else agreed or disagreed. It’s funny, how sometimes you can quickly lose track of what you started out feeling. Sadly the truth of the matter is, that it can hurt what people think and say about you. That even though it may bother you for a stranger to say something negative about you, you can for the most part shrug it off. Thinking to yourself they don’t know you. The part that hurts the worst is when the negative comes from someone who is or was close to you on some level, someone you have cared about. Because no matter if what they are saying is all lies, it can get to you. The thing is, if you felt this person knew you in any way, it can hurt when their perception of you is not correct. You could wonder if others see you this way too. Because how could it possible that one person could be so off? Do you send out a vibe unintentionally that is different than what your intentions are? If you are not careful, these thoughts and the person’s hurtful words can sink in and start to control your actions. You could, in trying not to come off the way they made you out to be, indeed become what they were saying without ever meaning to.
There is one thing in all this that I have to hold true. That is, no matter what negative things are said and thought about you that it is not who you really are. Only you know your true intentions, and you can say what they are until you are blue in the face, but only your actions will define you. They say “The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.” To me that means that no matter how good your intentions are if you don’t act with them they are merely thoughts and do no good. You should always stick to your truest of intentions. Stay true to who you are no matter what. No matter if others try and bring out the worst in you, you must simply walk away and ignore it. Even if it hurts. You must never ever let what they say or think of you change how you view yourself. Because it can and it will, if you give it that power. If their words start to pull you in, you must stop. Take a moment, evaluate yourself, your purpose, the reasons you do the things you do. Reflect on yourself. Because only in your heart of hearts will you know whether your actions come from a good and kind place or if it is something less sincere. If you come back knowing that what you are doing is without a doubt from a good place in your heart, then tell the haters to go do themselves. Because it is up to you to define your character and your worth. No one else can take that from you. Only when you know your worth will others do the same. Once you do know it, you won’t allow anyone to treat you any less than how you deserve to be treated.
The most important thing above all of this is to not let anyone take away or dim the beauty you have inside. I tell you that just as there are those who don’t care or who want to tear you down, there are also those who will see the beauty in you. Those that will stand by your side no matter what. They will take the time to know you by your true character. They know that to be human is to err and they will forgive you for your mistakes. They will be there to pick you up when you are down and make you laugh when you need cheering up. For the others, a thicker skin is needed, and hopefully the hateful words will eventually stop hurting so much. The hardest part in making your skin thicker is to keep a soft heart. Many allow their hearts to harden to keep the pain from being felt and in doing so lose their ability to be compassionate towards others. It is a beautiful thing to have a soft heart in the world we live in today. People with the ability to truly care for others and try to help them in any small way they can is a beautiful gift. And that beauty should never be extinguished. The world needs more people who have not only passion but compassion for all living things. It is true compassion that leads us to make a difference, and it’s passion that keeps us going. So when focusing on you, just be the best you, you can be. Worry only about your character, being true to who you are. Keep your skin thick to let the negative slide off and your heart soft to keep the ability to care for others. Above all else, always keep your LIGHT burning bright, for only light can defeat the darkness.
Image found on www.viacharacter.org